99 days...

I hate being pregnant. I hate women who say "I just love being pregnant!" I didnt knw that throwing up, getting fatter, having aches and pains in places you shouldnt have them, swollen feet, gas, bloating, acid reflux, and mood swings was something to LOVE! They must not have three other kids, go to school, clean their house,have a husband that works 12 hr. shift work days, take care of an ailing father in law, cooks their families meals, do 8 loads of laundry a week, wash cars, pay bills, workout, play with their kids, have a crazy church calling, etc,etc,etc. I havent enjoyed this pregnancy like I did when I was pregnant with Caleb. Maybe its because I am older and fatter and just plain tired. The only thing that is still the same is, I still find myself thinking about this little pea. What does she look like? Will she look like Aubrie or Brynley or have her own look? Will she be a good baby like my others or cry all the time? Will she be small or big? What color will her eyes be? Hair? No, my kids dont have hair, scratch that one:) What kind of kid will she grow up to be? Is she going to be healthy? Tall? What kind of person will she be?
No matter what kind of pregnancy you have, you still have the same thoughts, fears, dreams, that you had for your other kids. I love having those dreams. I want to see my kids happy and healthy and living good lives. Caleb is so smart, I wish for him to go on a mission, college and find a career he will be good at. Something awesome, unique. He once told me he wanted to be an engineer and build roller coaster. Cool!
Miss Aubrie is such a good dancer and singer. I hope she finds joy in those talents her whole life and passes them onto someone else. She says she wants to be a dentist when she grows up. And then there's Brynley. She dances and sings all the time. She cares for animals and is so compassionate with them. Maybe she will be person who goes and saves animals. Mitch thinks she should be a surgeon since she loves blood and guts and loves to destroy things and then try to put it back together again.
I hope they all see the dreams and potential I see in them. I want them all to be able to experience being a parent. I dont think a person truly grows up and becomes unselfish until they have a child of their own. I have seen it in myself and in others. It is one of the best gifts we are given in this earth! So even though I may hate getting fat, having breakouts, feeling sick, having my feet hurt, going through delivery...I will take it all just to get to experience what happens after birth. Thats when the journey and fun begins. So here is to 99 more days of hell, for a lifetime of bliss.