Today

Today was a rough day. Carly has been trying my patience so much that I really felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown. She hasnt been feeling good which has been the biggest reason behind her crying and naughtiness but I pulled through and had some really good moments tonight with the kids. Prayer is such a powerful thing. That is what helped get all of us back on track. I pray with my kids, I say prayers for them and for myself to allow me to be better. Because there is much room for improvement no matter what. It is hard being a mom. And being a mother to four kids, is often very overwhelming and very exhausting. Two feelings I often feel being a mother. But I also feel very blessed and very grateful beyond words that I have been given these four beautiful, amazing souls. I often find myself very sad that some people dont even get to see what I see each day. 

I feel so privelaged that I get to spend each day watching them grow and learn. The innocence and love that they possess is truly the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Each of them are special and significant in their own way. Like these little things... Caleb, he will come up behind me and start rubbing my back because he knows I like massages. Or Brynley, she often is the one who tells me I look pretty and always seems to have an interesting story to tell me. Carly has her sweet moments too, as short loved as they are:) She will wrap her arms so tightly around my neck that I can feel her love or when she tells me she loves me.  And of course there is Aubrie, who is one thoughtful girl. She left me the sweetest note tonight taped to my bed post. Inside were words that touched my heart and made me feel so loved. Each of them have changed my life, in their own ways but all for the better. I need to remember this, when I have another bad day like I did today. When it seems to hard and overbearing, I need to remember my life isn't hard, its blessed.

After a very rough day, I was laying on the couch and Carly came over and layed on me and said "Mama, nuggles." It made my bad day, not so bad anymore:)

I am leaving my kids for the 2nd time ever tomorrow. I am going to ABQ to the temple and to get certified to be a Zumba instructor. I am so nervous but also excited for it! I have been needing to decompress and have some alone time. Wish me luck!