Have you ever?

Have you ever felt that the life you were living, just wasn't your best life? Not that I don't feel much gratitude for the blessings I have but something more real. Lately, I have been feeling quite unsettled. Not sure if it's the fact that I am quickly approaching 30 or what started this feeling deep inside. I have felt that my life just isn't fulfilling enough. I know, I know, you must think I am some kind of high maintenance person, what don't I have in life that I already have. But what I am talking about runs much deeper than anything on the surface. I have this strong, overwhelming feeling to do something that will define me as a person, that will bring some kind of change and something better to myself. I see other people being allowed the opportunities to serve others so diligently and to offer them a better life because of that service. I am finding myself needing to connect with the people of this world, okay maybe even my own community. I am pretty sure the best thing we can do with our time is to serve those around us. Christ was the best example of serving those in need and giving of his time so fully. I know being a mother of four is a non stop service but more often than not it's a thankless service. I am supposed to care for my kids and to make sure their every need is met. So what I am craving, is something more. I am craving a connection much deeper than any other relationship has brought me. And no one should take offense to this, not even my husband. But really it's about me as a person and what I would like to share with those who need me. Because sometimes our own feelings run deeper than we understand and can comprehend. I am not recieving the spiritual connections I wish to be feeling. This doesn't mean I don't believe in my faith. I think I have allowed the imperfections of myself and others around me to affect my spiritual growth lately. I want to feel good inside from helping someone or making them happy. There is so much hate and evil in the world that I want to radiate more love and hope, even if it was one person at a time. I want my kids to see my good deeds and want them to follow in those footsteps. As I contemplate my plans on this, I hope I am led to the opportunites I so wish to have. I am going to look for more opportunities each day to be of service to someone else. Because “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."

"Let us ask ourselves the questions: “Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need?” What a formula for happiness! What a prescription for contentment, for inner peace—to have inspired gratitude in another human being." President Monson